Big news in the Seattle Rotary District exchange student world (quite the noun string, that). Alicia was chatting the other night and suddenly yelled my name. I rushed in to the computer room to learn that one of the girls was sent home for drugs. That’s all we know, and we don’t even know how accurate that is. Alicia should find out more when the remaining exchange students meet this weekend. I almost hope it was something really bad, because I hate to think that she destroyed this year because she got caught smoking a joint at a party.
She was here for Alicia’s party and she was very nice. Steve had her write her name (to which she appended her home country) and phone number on the marker board in the kitchen after he learned she’s a serious snowboarder, quite pleased that he’d found someone to take skiing a time or two this winter. He was looking forward to a cultural and athletic outing.
She’s entitled to privacy, but Rotary should tell the students and their host families what happened, at least in general terms. You know how fast rumors are created, now imagine what will happen with a group of twelve teenagers, all of whom communicate with each other – usually online – in a language that is not their first. It’s a concrete example of zero tolerance and a good reminder that Rotary isn’t kidding about the no drugs and no drinking part, but the story needs to be accurate.
At the party this girl told us she can go three days without seeing her host family. The mother worked long hours (and when she was home she was on the phone the whole time, hence few family conversations), the father died a couple of years ago, and the older host sister had a boyfriend and was never home. Why host a student if you won’t be there? Did this allow her too much free time? It’s hard to evaluate your student’s friends if you’re never there. She knew the rules and she made the wrong choice, but I wonder if her host-family situation made failure easier.
This news seems to have really bothered Alicia’s mother. She said it was probably the fault of the people the girl was with and told Alicia to be careful who her friends are. Maybe, but it’s probably too frightening to think that it was entirely her fault, which sets up a syllogism of sorts: she’s an exchange student; she used drugs; my daughter’s an exchange student; oh no! Much easier to blame someone else.
There are so many far-reaching ramifications to this situation. Being an exchange student is a pretty big deal in the student’s world so many people know about it: they ask questions, tell the student to be sure to visit such and such, recall their own exchange-student experiences, exchange e-mail addresses. She will disappoint so many people: the host club and district, her sponsoring club at home, her family, her teachers, the school administration, her neighbors, her friends, and herself. It is a lot of work sending and receiving exchange students, and the students have an obligation to not make waste of that work and support.
The next morning Steve, quite sad, said, “I guess I can erase her name off the board.”
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