This whole exchange-student thing is a really bad idea and I don’t know why anyone would send their children half-way across the world, away from the friends and family who love them, to live for a year with strangers who can never possibly care for them the way we do. It’s a good thing we have no younger children because I could not do this again.
Chloe is gone. The airport was horrible, but the ferry trip over was the worst. Her two best friends rode the ferry with us, but they got off at Vashon to go to school late while we continued on to Seattle. That trip, and her friends walking off the dock while Chloe stayed on the boat, will forever be one of my worst memories. I can’t describe it or tell anyone about it because I can’t think about it without breaking down. Outside of the sudden death of a loved one, I’ve never heard such heart-wrenching anguish.
After snaking our way through the very long, not-well-organized line at the ticket counter, the ticket agent was about to send Chloe on her way when I told him that she was going to be gone for a year and would it be possible for me to get a gate pass to go with her? He looked at me for a minute, asked if I had my ID (yes, because Chloe’s brother went back to the very edge of the parking garage, where I'd forgotten it in the car, to get it for me while we were waiting in line – good thing it was a long line), then said, “Don’t tell anyone where you got this because I like working here.” We were both very happy that I was able to go to the gate with her.
But she had to say goodbye to Nana, her brother, and Daddy at security. Another episode I’m not going to think about.
Through security, where Chloe was tagged for a full search: going through her bags, full-body wanding, asking questions. I thought it might be that every so many boarding passes are tagged, but the other two kids went through the same thing, so maybe it has something to do with their destination or layover locations.
But the gate wasn’t easy. Chloe was not in very good shape getting on the plane. As she was boarding I think she thought I’d already left but I waited to see her walk down the Jetway. She didn’t look back. I was on my way down the escalator after she boarded when I decided I’d stay to watch the plane leave the gate. I saw her bags get on the plane so that made me feel better. Then the plane left and again I was on my way to the escalator when I decided to watch it taxi out of view. Then, what the hell, I might as well watch it take off. Well, as long as I’m here, I might as well watch until I can’t see the plane anymore. It took off headed south, got very small, turned east toward Chicago, and then it, with my baby, a child that I not only love but truly like, was gone.
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