A whole year?

Let's git us up a posse

Yesterday Chloe was momentarily embarrassed to be an American. Her host father was reading a popular Sunday magazine. She wrote

On the front cover was a picture of a man, about 50, with a
cheap cowboy hat, two guns in his suspenders, and a shirt that said, "Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them." Then there were more pictures of people sitting in their cars, guts hanging out, with their little pistols and binocs, waiting to catch'em some Latinos. No wonder everyone hates America.

This is not representative of America, but we Americans are expected to answer for it - and, please, let's answer for the misplaced "only" on the t-shirt while we're at it - because if we don't we appear to condone the behavior. One of the organization's Web sites is here, where you'll find this in the FAQs (where there is a distressing lack of hyphens and closed compounds): "And of course the greatest fear that lurks in the dark corners of our minds is another 9-11 attack, or worse, a suit case bomb." Yeah, we're afraid of that, but I'm more afraid of ignorant sovereign citizens with multiple firearms taking it upon themselves to defend our nation. Also on that Web site is a photo of a camera that belongs to a "Spanish journalist" and I wonder if that was associated with the Spanish article Chloe read. Another site is here, where there's an article that says, "President Bush is, literally, ripping this nation apart." Politics aside, literally, you flaming moron? On which coast or border did he start tearing up the land? And won't things get, literally, a wee bit damp when he rips through the Mississippi river?

A link to an article about a TV news crew going undercover with this group is here. As is usually the case, the organization's practices when they think they aren't being filmed differ from their mission statement. What to do about all those helpful shotgun-toting sovereign citizens of these United States who are itching for a piece of the vigilante action?

I've heard people around here complain about "all those Spanish people." They mean, of course, Mexican people because there are very few Spaniards in this neck of the woods and they lack a border in common with us to facilitate their illegal entry into our country. It seems like if one were conscientious of one's effectiveness as a bigot, one might want to take a look at a world map every so often. It's the map where the United States is but one part of a whole. And, if it's a map published in the US, the United States will be smack in the center, arbitrary divisions of continents be damned.

I am not my government

Let's say you're from Hastaloovia and you're living in my neighborhood for a while on a cultural exchange. You ask me if I've ever been to Hastaloovia and I say no, I'm sorry, but I really hate Hastaloovia. I don't like its foreign policy, its immorality, its quest for Hastaloovian hegemony. And then I say, "But, don't get me wrong. I think you're okay." Whew - you can cross that concern off your list.

Obviously, in addition to being more than a little rude, I'm quite opinionated, especially where Hastaloovia is concerned. You rightly ask me if I've ever been to Hastaloovia, the country you call home: "No, but--" so you wonder how I can form such a negative opinion about a place that I've never visited. I can because, like bigots everywhere, I've equated you and your fellow Hastaloovians with the policies of your government, policies that I don't really know anything about, other than what I read in my hometown newspaper and hear about from radio chat-show hosts. And, like bigots everywhere, instead of visiting all sides of the issues, I take shortcuts and allow others to form my opinions for me. But you, reasonable person that you are, realize this and try to not paint the rest of my country with the broad brush of ignorance that I'm wielding.

You tell me that you (and many of your fellow Hastaloovian citizens) don't agree with all of your government's policies any more than I agree with everything my government has to say (an opinion I've happily shared with you on many occasions). If you weren't so polite, you might even be tempted to tell me that you used to hate my country, too. That is, until you came here and lived with, not abstract opinions, but real people, people who, you learned, are not so different than you.

And, we can hope, after living with you for a while, I'll come to discover that Hastaloovia is more than its government's policies. I'll realize that I've been intellectually lazy by forming opinions based on other people's ignorance. And the people who run these exchange programs, and those of us who sent our kids thousands of miles away, will smile instead of saying, "We told you so."

Basketball photos

Tonight Alicia came home frustrated. Everyone had gotten their basketball pictures, but hers had proof written in Sharpie marker across the face with a note that no money was enclosed with her order. She was very frustrated because on picture day she'd brought a twenty-dollar bill and had asked everyone if they had change for her $15 purchase. No one did, so the photographer took her money and told her he'd send her the change. Then he put it in his pocket while saying, "Don't you trust me? Don't you trust me?"

She hadn't mentioned this at the time because if she had I would have checked into it. Everyone remembered her asking them for change, and the coach saw him put the money in his pocket. The coach confirmed that the photographer was very impatient with Alicia, who couldn't quite understand how he wanted her to pose because he was mumbling into his t-shirt. This whole school-sports thing is literally foreign to Alicia and so is having portraits taken at school. The coach explained to the photographer that she was a foreign-exchange student, but that she spoke good English and could understand him if he would speak a little more clearly.

This reminded me that I've noticed that some people, upon hearing Alicia's accent, immediately think Mexican and so they automatically categorize her in a not-too-subtle negative way. I feel compelled to explain that she's Spanish, so give her a break, but then I'm feeding into their biases by assuring them that she's not Mexican and why should I do that? But more than a few Spanish people have a bias against Mexicans, too. The irony is that, unless they live here, they don't realize that they are being lumped into the very group of people that they have stereotyped. I wonder if it's what Canadian travelers are doing in other parts of the world now: assuring the natives that they are not American.

So, I don't know if this photographer was rude to only her, if he thought he'd get away with stealing her money because she wasn't from here, or if he was just a jerk in general. I talked to the owner of the company today and she couldn't have been nicer. She was very interested to find out who the photographer was and assured me they'd be having a conversation. She apologized for his behavior and mentioned that they had been in business for thirty years, which would not be possible if this behavior was the norm. She is sending a $25 package instead of the $15 package Alicia ordered, and she's including her original $5 in change. Not once did she imply that Alicia might have been mistaken in her contention that she paid cash for her pictures.

We ain't all there is

Being so immersed in the exchange-student world right now, I have to constantly be aware that almost no one else is and many people don’t really care what we’ve learned (and there’s no reason they should). In most cases, if someone is kind enough to ask, “How’s Chloe doing?” I respond with, “Good. She’s having fun.” and leave it up to the other person to pursue the question. If I don’t get a further response, I know he is being polite and has asked the equivalent of “Hi, how ya doing,” so I am polite back and then we talk about the weather.

That said, I’m always a little disappointed and surprised at the people who can’t comprehend, and so dismiss, anything outside their immediate frames of reference. The Spanish eat dinner at 10:00 PM? That’s just too late and doesn’t make any sense. In the Scottish Highlands people stop their cars in the middle of the street to run into a shop because the middle of the street is all there is. Well, that’s just stupid. Maybe, but the rest of the world has managed to survive without our mealtime or traffic advice for quite some time.

Likewise, when fretting about potential language difficulties, it’s so common to hear, “Yeah, but you don’t have to worry because they all speak English, right?” The Spaniards, Brazilians, or Japanese may have learned English, but that’s a far cry from speaking it or understanding it spoken. We expect them to speak our language, in their country, but feel no obligation to speak theirs. And many Americans truly believe that Americans have no accent, which is an ethnocentric implication that the rest of the world’s speech is measured against that of native speakers of American English. You’ll be quickly disabused of that notion the first time you hear a British person parroting your American accent while telling you to park your car in the garage rather than the yard.

Be nice to the hand that feeds you

Finding other people who have done what you’re about to do helps with preparation, but you have to be careful to put what you read into context. I was reading a message board with lots of good information but, like all message boards, there are a few idiots among the posters. One of the threads was Getting Sent Home Early, where a boy said he got sent home from Denmark because “I rarely went to school,” with some friends “wrote a rather hilarious but extremely blasphemous book,” had “severe problems” with the host Rotary club, and then was “ostracized” from the sponsoring club after he got home. But he wasn’t too upset because he has “anarchist leanings” and “hanging around with an group of wealthy, generally older men who get together to make themselves feel better and manifest business ties isn’t that delightful is not always my idea of a great time.” [toss a few sics in that last quote – I’m not sure exactly where they should go]

After being raised Catholic and after a lot of personal study, I am not religious, but I respect anyone’s right to believe in whatever helps get them through the night as long as they leave me out of it. I finished my undergraduate work at Pacific Lutheran University because of a specific minor offered there. Some students on campus complained about the Christian overtones to the school. If you don’t want to read about Jesus in the campus newspaper, don’t go to a school with a name where Lutheran functions as an adjective to University. Likewise, if you have strong moral objections to mostly white guys in the business of capitalism, don’t accept their generous offer to send you abroad to study for a year.

Enough with the terror

Chloe doesn’t leave for several more months, but already the goal of fostering cultural understanding is being met. Today, terrorists bombed commuter trains in Madrid, killing at least 190 people and injuring over twelve hundred more.

Before we knew Chloe was going to Spain, I knew very little about the country. Now I have tears in my eyes as I read accounts of the carnage. I linger over the images and empathize with the Spaniards who are suffering through the horror. Before, I would have read the accounts and been sad, but I would have quickly moved on. No time or desire to worry about things that don’t directly affect me. Enough to worry about here.

Intellectually, I’ve always known that everything that happens in the world does, to some degree, affect all of us. But I was able to convince myself, superficially, at least, that it wasn’t my concern. I can no longer hide behind that ignorance. Our family will be forever linked to the people of this other country. Chloe will meet lots of students from many parts of the world and, through her, we’ll be linked to the people of those countries, too.

Many people are going to ask us, “Are you still going to let Chloe go to Spain?” Of course, just as we’d allow her to go to Manhattan or Washington, DC. People who say, “I’m staying home where it’s safe” are making a specious statement to mask their ignorance, their fear, their contempt, their bigotry. We’ll do everything possible to ensure Chloe’s safety, but we won’t submit to extremists who try to frighten the world with statistically insignificant threats of harm. At the very least, I expect that Spain will no longer allow unattended bags and parcels, and I hope that the US will share with Spain the expertise they’ve gained since September 11.

I strongly disagree with the formation of the United States Department of Homeland Security (dictionary definitions aside, homeland does not belong in the title of a US government agency). Rather, there should have been an alliance between all of the agencies that were already charged with American security. So they screwed up – make them fix it and quit behaving like rival third-grade playground brats. John Ashcroft and the Patriot Act are a far greater long-term threat to Americans than Saddam Hussein ever was. But, I grudgingly admit that we have to be more careful about our safety, which includes inspecting solitary parcels and monitoring who we allow to cross our borders. It doesn’t mean staying home, closing our borders, or being suspicious of anyone who doesn’t look or sound like us.

It’s too soon to tell what the fallout of these bombings will be, but my greatest fear is that the US State Department will issue a hasty and ill-advised travel warning that would prevent Chloe from being an exchange student in Spain. I don’t want her to have to tell her kids, “I was supposed to go to Spain for a year, but some crazy people bombed a bunch of trains so I couldn’t go.”