When Chloe and I took Alicia to school for orientation and registration at the end of August we met another exchange student. She was sitting outside on the beautiful summer afternoon, surrounded by kids happy to see each other as they ate barbecued hamburgers and ice cream bars, good-naturedly tossing about expletives as they grumbled about the impending end of their summer. She, though, sat with her host mother looking like a terrified child who'd been snatched from the only world she'd ever known. Which she was. Imagine being a smart, happy kid at home and then being sent to live with strangers in an enormous foreign country not because you wanted to go, but because someone else thought it would be good for you. Not only do you not want to be there, but you speak virtually none of the native language, which puts you in classes far below your age and academic level. You're quiet and don't reach out to make friends because to be so forward is contrary to your Asian culture. Consequently, you're perceived as not only not the sharpest tool in the shed, but a snob. It doesn't take too long for other students to give up on trying to make you feel welcome.
I would occasionally ask Alicia how this girl was doing and she'd say she seemed to be okay; very quiet, but she laughed and smiled a little. I think the only thing that kept her from abandoning her exchange and running home soon after she arrived is the concern and hard work her first host family poured into making her stay here a success. They didn't let her hide in the sanctuary of her bedroom where she was safe and secure and didn't have to make an effort to fit in. They made sure she was involved in school activities and asked other students if she could sometimes be included in their social activities. They encouraged her to assimilate while providing her a loving and warm refuge to return to for comfort and support. I doubt that she realizes how fortunate she was to have these people as her first host family.
Today I went to the school play, Little Shop of Horrors. This exchange student was in the small chorus, singing and dancing and on display, stage front.

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